Tomorrow, Sunday, is Father’s Day in the USA.
Gifts from the kids. A special meal. Good family time.
I have been watching the news reports of President Obama giving speeches with a Father’s day theme. A funny speech last night speaking in front of the Washington press corps.
In between jokes, he reminded us of his own father, and challenged us all to be better fathers than his own was.
Obama has written a whole book about his father, “Dreams from My Father”, in which he talks about the man who abandoned his family. But Obama mainly talks about his own parenting today; a father to his own Sasha, 8, and Malia, 10.
As usual, he is telling American men what sort of fathers they should be, what kind of father he himself wants to be. The method is pretty simple: just be the opposite of what his own father was like.
Barack Hussein Obama, Sr., was a sometime Kenyan Goatherder cum Harvard scholar. Or so the storyline goes. Left his Kenyan family behind for a U.S. education and started a new family there, only to return to Africa with another woman when Barack Jr. was 2 years old.
Senior worked for an oil company in Africa, and for the government. His promise never materialized and when his 21-year-old son in America was a student at Columbia University, the senior Barack finally succumbed to the bottle and then died in a car crash.
He left his son a Muslim name, an African heritage and a basketball. Not much else.
“I don’t want to be the kind of father I had,” the president says quietly.
Although Obama’s preaching is most obvious when addressing other black men, his message is for all men: Be better fathers.
"Let's admit to ourselves that there are a lot of men out there that need to stop acting like boys; who need to realize that responsibility does not end at conception; who need to know that what makes you a man is not the ability to have a child but the courage to raise a child."
"We need to step out of our own heads and tune in. We need to turn off the television and start talking with our kids, and listening to them, and understanding what's going on in their lives."
"Any fool can have a child. That doesn't make you a father.”
Obama is quick to acknowledge his own shortcomings as a father. His fierce career ambitions many times kept him separated from his family.
"I know I have been an imperfect father. I know I have made mistakes. I have lost count of all the times, over the years, when the demands of work have taken me from the duties of fatherhood."
But, during the recent campaign, and now that he is in the White House, Obama finds time - makes time - to spend time with his girls and wife.
Obama was a schoolboy in Hawaii when his father came back to visit one time. He gave his dad a tie. His father gave him some African figurines and came to his class to speak about Kenya. And then he left again.
Before he left, he gave his son a basketball.
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Cat’s in the Cradle
by Harry Chapin
A child arrived just the other day,
He came to the world in the usual way.
But there were planes to catch, and bills to pay.
He learned to walk while I was away.
And he was talking 'fore I knew it, and as he grew,
He'd say, "I'm gonna be like you, dad.
You know I'm gonna be like you."
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little boy blue and the man in the moon.
"When you coming home, dad?" "I don't know when,
But we'll get together then.
You know we'll have a good time then."
My son turned ten just the other day.
He said, "Thanks for the ball, dad, come on let's play.
Can you teach me to throw?" I said, "Not today,
I got a lot to do." He said, "That's ok."
And he walked away, but his smile never dimmed,
Said, "I'm gonna be like him, yeah.
You know I'm gonna be like him."
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little boy blue and the man in the moon.
"When you coming home, dad?" "I don't know when,
But we'll get together then.
You know we'll have a good time then."
Well, he came from college just the other day,
So much like a man I just had to say,
"Son, I'm proud of you. Can you sit for a while?"
He shook his head, and he said with a smile,
"What I'd really like, dad, is to borrow the car keys.
See you later. Can I have them please?"
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little boy blue and the man in the moon.
"When you coming home, son?" "I don't know when,
But we'll get together then, dad.
You know we'll have a good time then."
I've long since retired and my son's moved away.
I called him up just the other day.
I said, "I'd like to see you if you don't mind."
He said, "I'd love to, dad, if I could find the time.
You see, my new job's a hassle, and the kid's got the flu,
But it's sure nice talking to you, dad.
It's been sure nice talking to you."
And as I hung up the phone, it occurred to me,
He'd grown up just like me.
My boy was just like me.
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little boy blue and the man in the moon.
"When you coming home, son?" "I don't know when,
But we'll get together then, dad.
You know we'll have a good time then."
