Groundhog Day Groundhog Day Groun...

As I write this it is still dark outside, but like the rest of the civilized world I am waiting anxiously to see if our local groundhog will see his shadow. Being already 8 am in Pennsylvania now, I assume the "official" U.S. ground hog has already seen his shadow and scurried back in his hole. (Yes, people, there really is a Punxsutawney Phil.) I am afraid to look at the Yahoo home page right now - I'm sure they have the result posted. Also I am not in the mood for things Pennsylvania this morning since the slimy cheating ref-paying Steelers "beat" my beloved Arizona Cardinals last night. But we all know who the real best team is. Me? - I will wait for our local result. Although I already know what it is going to be since today is supposed to be sunny.

What amazes me is the number of people who don't believe this ritual predicts the length of winter. Can you imagine such backward ignorance in this day and age? Thank god for groundhog science.

It has occurred to me, though, that some enlightened people who believe in the magical powers of groundhogs, may be unable, through no fault of their own, to take advantage of this gift of nature. My friend Stine, for example. I worry that she may not actually have enough sun on February 2 in order to cast shadows. But perhaps they have other rituals of weather prediction in her beautiful part of the world that they use to replace the standard groundhog. Or perhaps they even have sun. A mystery. I hope to visit one day and find out for myself.

Then there's my other friend (I have two friends) Ettarose in North Carolina. I worry that she is too backwards to be able to interpret the shadows, or to remember whether no shadow means winter or no winter. I worry that she will not even remember that today is Groundhog Day, being preoccupied as she is with waiting for her dialup to load this page. I worry a LOT about Ettarose, actually.

Actually, I have more than 2 friends. I have many friends. I am blessed. And one of those extra special friends is my rocklike supporter A. A. is several thousand miles away, but we have coffee together. A. has just returned to England from France yesterday (she keeps moving back an forth in an effort to keep the law off her trail) and we may have coffee together later. Being British, she has a genetic defect that makes her lean towards tea, but I have slowly trained her to begin drinking coffee. It has done wonders for her disruptive nature.

Speaking of coffee, that reminds me I promised a concluding post about how to make good coffee.

Tomorrow. I meant tomorrow.

In search of the perfect cup of coffee

Relax Max drinks coffee. I have since I was just out of high school. My first cup was when I was 18 and working at a movie theater late at night. The projectionist used to send me down to the corner all-night cafe to get him coffee. He would buy me a cup for going. Such a guy. One time I actually drank it. Some of it. Then poured the rest out. Next time I tried to get rid of the coffee taste by filling it a third full of milk and then adding about 17 sugar packets off the counter. Still no good, but it made my teeth hurt. Poured it out too. Told projectionist he would have to start springing for a soft drink instead.

Later that summer I learned to drink coffee and smoke filterless Camel cigarettes. Thereafter I was able to get sex effortlessly, as the Camel magazine ads promised.

I have since traveled a bit (and long-since stopped smoking, although I haven't had sex since I stopped having that cool cig in my mouth) and had some really good cups of coffee. Also, I have had some that made me tell the waitress to throw it out. So have most of you. My best cup of coffee? One of the very best was at a really nice restaurant in San Diego, a long time ago. But the VERY best? You'll never guess. In any Air Force mess hall at 6 in the morning, before it has had time to cook down. True. Well, maybe not true anymore, but true when I was a 4-year prisoner of the USAF way back right after the Civil War. So.

It has been a while since I have had a really good cup of coffee. I have gone through a few brands of coffee and a few coffee makers without really finding the best combination. Coming close for many years, but only occasionally being successful (and then still not remembering how to duplicate that occasional goodness), I decided just the other day to study up on it. This post is the result of my studies.

But three of you have already emailed the World Blogger's Association headquarters and complained about the length of my posts. So I will stop here, even though I haven't had a chance to share my learnings with you.

Kidding. I'll tell you tomorrow. If I get 3 more followers today.

Don't comment on this and tell what your personal secret is. Save that for tomorrow after I tell you what I found out. Then we will all get together and share secrets in the comments.

For today, just make comments telling the world how cool I am, generally.

Alternatively, it is also okay to comment today about how you started drinking coffee at age 2, how your teeth have rotted out from it, how your doctor has told you to cut back on caffeine and how bad decaf tastes, how Mormons don't drink hot drinks or how A. prefers tea to coffee.

And don't let the cat out of the bag that Kenya has the best coffee in the world and screw Columbia and that guy Juan Valdez and the donkey he rode in on. I want to tell you that tomorrow, K?

Happy Super Bowl.