A lot of you have probably been wondering about the Spanish-American War. I understand this curiosity, and I understand the main thing you are curious about is Cuba. Cuba and communism. The Spanish-American War, Cuba, and communism. That shouldn't take too much time or space, so don't worry that this post is going to be long.Spain had always been a world power from even before the New World exploration and colonization. Spain REALLY colonized the Americas, except for what is now Canada. Spain fought a famous naval battle with Great Britain during the reign of Elizabeth I, and lost. As a result of her explorations and colonizations, Spain had many territories all around the world by the 19th century. By the end of the Century, Spain's star was fading. Her fling had flung.
The Spanish-American War took place in 1898 and lasted perhaps 4 or 5 months. The U.S. picked the war with Spain for no particular reason that I can see. Cuba was fighting for independence and Spain wouldn't give it to them and so we used that as an excuse. I know, I know. Then someone blew up a U.S. battleship, the Maine, in Havana harbor and that was the last straw. I don't think it was Spain that blew it up, though. Probably some of the Cuban revolutionaries trying to get the U.S. to kick Spain's ass so they could be independent. Or not. Who knows.
After the "war," the U.S. was the proud owner of places like Puerto Rico and Cuba and, on the other side of the world, the Philippines and Guam. Guam, U.S.A. Where the sun first rises on America. Like that. And like we needed Puerto Rico, but that is 'nother story.
A sharp student of history might notice that all these places spoke mostly Spanish and the U.S. didn't speak any at all, but no matter, right? Our culture can become YOUR culture. And so we began to culturize Cuba as best we could without being able to speak Spanish, which was the only place we really wanted to take from Spain anyway.
Let me hurry. I still have to cover communism.
As usual, we plundered Cuba and supported fat-cat dictators who did what we wanted them to do and Cuba became a vacation backyard for the American wealthy. And gangsters. And people who liked to gamble and party with prostitutes. Las Vegas south. You get the picture. The last tin-horn dictator was a guy named Batista. A real sweetheart. The Cuban people adored him. Not.
Anyway, shortly after the war, in 1902, because Rough Rider Teddy R. thought they were plucky, the U.S. gave Cuba the independence they had wanted so much, except they had to put in their constitution that the U.S. could interfere/intervene in Cubas affairs pretty much at will. Oh, and they agreed to lease us a Naval Base at a place called Guantanamo Bay forever. But that was all, and in return Cuba got to rake in a lot of tourist dollars and all the common people had to do was bring the fat Americans drinks on the beach and smile a lot. And Batista took most of the money. Of course.
Communism didn't happen until 1958, and you are probably asking yourself why it took so long for the people to get pissed off enough to off Batista and throw out the gambling and prostitution and humiliation. And the Americans.
So Papa Fidel was welcomed by the compesinos as a hero, and rightly so. Fidel had started growing a beard during his time of hiding in the hills and swore he wouldn't shave it until the revolution was over. Citation needed. I just made that up. Although I think it is true. He still hasn't shaved, though. Fidel wasn't always a loco revolutionary, being a star baseball pitcher and a U.S. educated lawyer who speaks one hell of a lot more English than you think he does.
Where was I? Hurry, hurry.
But communism being what it is, the people it was supposed to save got the short end of the stick as usual and are still driving 1954 Chevrolets with hand machined replacement parts. To paraphrase my blogging friend Descartes about the Romans, Fidel just killed everyone who wanted to fight and then put everyone else to cutting sugar cane. And that was the name of that game. Yo.
I may have left out a piece here and there, but I am trying to be leaner and meaner with my blogging. I failed again with the leaner part.
